Here is my confession...
i am anxious about returning to PNG with a newborn.
For all of the reasons you could imagine...malaria (#1), the distance from good medical care (what if he gets sick??), lack of social outlets, lonliness (can i handle it?), everything i was dealing with before plus the new baby and the issues that come with bringing him into a third world sistuation (i won't make a list).
So, i picked up the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow from the "one of these days..." pile beside my bed. i've been meaning to read it for years. It's a humdinger.
She says our anxiety can be traced back to lack of contentment. Hmmm...i didn't really get it at first but upon further introspection it's true.
Do i really believe "God...is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters." (1 Tim.6:15), and that "i am strong for all things in the One who constantly infuses strength in me." (Phil.4:13)?
Psalm 16:5 says "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure."
Who's in control here?
You are God.
Is He trustworthy?
Um, yes. Forgive me Father.
Elisabeth Elliot says:
"I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned "portion" ("this belongs to it, that does not")? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are cancelled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives."
That is what i crave. A quiet heart.
So, from the book, here is a prescription for contentment:
*Never allow yourself to complain about anything- not even the weather.
*Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else. (ouch.)
*Never compare your lot with another's.
*Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
*Never dwell on tomorrow- remember that tomorrow is God's not ours.
This is my goal:
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strenghth." (Phillipians 4:11-13)
I am becoming an expert in contentment, and the queen of the quiet hearts.
Anybody out there with me??
XOXO tiffany
[i have more to say on contentment...someday soon...]
3 comments:
Hi. we have never met, but I know we will (whether on earth or in heaven). we are in full time PD (43% baby!! headed to PNG eventually - Lord willing), waiting on our house to sell, living with my in-laws, homeschooling our four daughters (something I swore I would never do)... all waiting on God's prefect timing for our futures. I am struggling with being content and I know it is the key to allowing God to work in my life... thank you for this post. :o)
I understand how the feeling of anxiety will plague us at times and it so sort of twists in the stomach. A new little person that you are responsible for is a valid reason for worry. Especially a tiny, completely dependent person! Add to that post partum hormones trying to get back into order, living in a foreign land and wow, that can cause any mama to feel uncertain.
Many times people will say, "you know what verse or prayer works for me at a time like this.." and they guarantee that you will sense a transformation in your being by reciting that particular verse? So you do, and you may or may not receive that relief or healing, because for whatever reason, certain things speak to each of us at different times in our lives for certain reasons? Well guess what? What the heck! I am going to be one of those people right now, LOL! Whenever I feel anxiety, I just express the fact that one of God's names is Jehovah Shalom "The God of Peace". And I ask the Holy Spirit pour out Peace on me right now from my head down through to my stomach relieving my worry and anxiety and replacing it with Peace. It has an effect and I pray it often as I have need of it often! Ok, call me crazy, but there it is!
tiffany! i'm with you girl! i love that book. in fact, reading this post has made me determined to pick it up and read it again.
maybe we can have a book study at poc with all of our extra time. :) hee hee.
praying god continues to bring you to that place to true contentment and TRUST. it is HARD HARD HARD to let go of control (that we don't really have... hard to remember that) of our kiddos.
but i love that book. god IS the blessed controller of ALL things. doesn't mean things will be easy. but he will give us grace. we just have to take one step at a time.
enjoy your last few days/weeks (when do you come back?) in oz.
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